Nurtured

Soft kisses

and blue hearts

Are not enough to keep me from wishing

When all that’s gone is all I’m missing

And the past is drawn into night-kissed hissings

Forever felt, but forever distant

I yearn and learn to keep Hiraeth insistent

Then siphoning sorrow becomes an incessant mission

even when

Romantic bliss hugs my shoulders

even then

My memories feel ten years older

even when, I grew only six

I'm naked inside

Without the crucifex

She learns too quick that the past is sacred

that to be together means to grow old with hatred

That can hide within droves under underwear drawers or my amygdala

where the weight turns to thirst and I seek an outdoors that lives inside me

But maybe the light will turn incandescent

i will turn limpid with a buoyancy between two weights that keep me forever grounded

But after some time

that ground will feel like a canyon